


Machine of Death

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Card Games, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2275362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remix of <a href="http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/19475.html?thread=5767955#cmt5767955">awesomesaurusrex's fic</a>, originally for the prompt: <a href="http://machineofdeath.net/">Machine of Death</a> AU.</p><p>(HSWC Bonus Round 7)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Machine of Death

“The musclebeast has been loosed in the control tower.” Terezi grinned a wicked grin. “Now, use the mass teleporter to move the runway.” Everything was going according to plan.

“Fuck,” Sollux groaned. “It didn’t work!”

“What do we have?” Terezi bridged her fingers, contemplating.

“A natural dithathter?”

“Perfect. I’ll fill the area with fog. The ship will never find the landing platform then.”

“A two, eathy.”

“Agreed.”

The die clattered to the table, landing on 4. Sollux let out a cheer, but Terezi remained stoic. There was one more step to this plan. And “Loose Lips” Corrigan was not the last target.

“And now the hypnothith!” Sollux took the die and rolled. A 5. “Yeth! He believths the runway ith thtill there and crashes!”

“Now we comfort the target’s next of kin with...” Terezi drew a card. “Something from dinosaur times.”

“Give them baby dinothaurs?” Sollux shrugged. “Everyone lovths those.”

“Yes! A two!”

“A three. They don’t love them that much.”

“Fine.” Terezi cast the die. A 2. “Shit!”

“Can we confuthe the witnetheth?”

“No time.” The sand of the timer ran dry.

“So we thtill have no bonuth cardth. We’d better hope thith latht one ithn’t too bad.”

“We are the best assassins. No one can stop us!”

A new target was revealed. Rodney “The Rod,” the world’s tallest man. Excited by purchasing dry granola in bulk, addicted to websites with cats, currently alone in the airport waiting area. Cause of death: The Moon, and he doesn’t know it.

“What do we have to kill thith thucker?”

Terezi pulled three cards. The tools of the mission. “A tool, device, or machine, something with booze, and… a ‘robe of power.’”

“Tho we get him drunk, put on our robe and withard hat, and thacrifithe him to the moon? Ith a thacrifithial dagger a tool?”

“I don’t think so. Plus putting on the robe isn’t much of an action.”

“Tho what’th your plan then?”

“Get him drunk is good. He’ll be easy prey after that. Then we dress him in a big furry coat, and use the loudspeakers to announce that a werewolf is loose in the airport. Security will do the rest.”

“Fine. Three for the drunk, three to get him in the coat ‘cauthe he’th drunk, and four to get the guardth to kill him.”

“These air airport security guards. You really think they won’t kill him?”

“A lot could go wrong.”

“Fine. Three, three, four it is. Start the clock.”

Sollux flipped the timer. Sand began to fall.

Terezi threw the die. “Getting him drunk.” A 2. “Shit!” A new card was pulled. Something Heavy. “Okay, sit your fat ass on him.”

“Haha. Gimme the die. That’th a four.” A 6. “But now getting the coat on ith gonna be harder. A four.”

“No problem!” A 5 was rolled. “Now security!”

Sollux cast the die. A 1. “Fuck, gimme the coin!” An unfavorable flip. A new card was drawn. A Liquid. “He slipth on oil running from thecurity.”

“Yes. A three. His neck will break for sure.”

“I thay four. Roll it.”

A 5. The game is won. “Haha! No one can escape our justice! Our control is absolute! No villain is beyond our reach!”

“I think we’re the bad guyth in thith game, TZ.”


End file.
